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Sleep
Read more: SleepWe got a kitten a few weeks ago and we are smitten. We already have two calicos but they’re not real cats. I’ll never forget the shelter worker telling us when we were paying the adoption fee, “Wow, you’re brave getting two female calicos.” She quickly backtracked when she saw the look on our faces…
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Roller Coaster
Read more: Roller CoasterWe all know the phrase misery loves company. I don’t think it’s that as much as misery needs company. We need connection when we’re miserable to know that we’re not alone. So curl up on the couch with me a minute while I pause Netflix and tell you about what I’ve been feeling.
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Not quite an old gray mare
Read more: Not quite an old gray mareIt’s been about 4 years since I’ve written on a regular basis. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher like every other 9 year old but when I was a teenager I dreamed of being a writer. I filled notebooks full of melodramatic, self-absorbed prose, half teenage angst and half…
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Meet Me Where I Am
Read more: Meet Me Where I AmI only posted two times on this blog last year and thinking about it makes me panic a little. This used to be the place where I joined with my community of survivors and seekers. It was my sanity check, my sanctuary and the place where I felt validated and heard. But when I sit…
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Found
Read more: FoundI found one of my abusers on Facebook a few months ago. Finding him wasn’t as monumental as I thought it would be. I expected it to hit me like a car crash but instead it was more like a wave. I gasped, held my breath and let the wave wash over me. I came…
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Parenting with PTSD book release
Read more: Parenting with PTSD book releaseTrigger Points Anthology has been re-released as Parenting with PTSD: the impact of childhood abuse on parenting and the Kindle version is available for free on Amazon today! The listed price is $0 so you don’t need to subscribe to Kindle Unlimited to purchase it for free. Words cannot express how amazing this book is.…
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Dear Body
Read more: Dear BodyDear Body, Can we be friends? I know I’m talking to myself and it sounds kind of silly but if I talk to you like a friend maybe you’ll listen. I need to make amends. I’ve thought things about you that if I knew anyone else was thinking I’d be crushed. I’ve said things to…
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Holding On
Read more: Holding On“Holding on, Why is everything so heavy?” – Linkin Park, “Heavy” I read back through my posts lately and thought why is everything so heavy? This is where I come to wrestle with my demons and reconcile the past with the present. Sometimes it’s heavy stuff but I have entire weeks and months of uneventful…
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Back to 17
Read more: Back to 17I always go back to 17, most often when I’m driving and listening to music. A song will remind me of how much I hated myself that year and I’m back there, looking at 1987 like a white cross on the roadside. It’s the year I told. It’s the year I lost control of…
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Through the Roof
Read more: Through the RoofI cried in the shower this morning, which is my favorite place to break down. There’s something about hot water mixing with hot tears that’s comforting and cleansing. And I don’t have to care about messing up my make-up. I’m just really tired. Some of it is sick and tired but most of it is…